Saturday, 19 January 2008

My virtual couch

My virtual couch
I haven’t been able to properly blog or write since I went to camp (NYSC). Somewhere in my writer’s pride-ish mind, I’ve not had the ‘incentive’ or energy to go out of my way to blog since there’s no consistent ‘Oh, Funmi, that was a brilliant piece” and other flattering affirmations of readership.
Lately, at least now that ‘m all settled (started and adjusted to my service year), I’ve been missing my Dr Phil and the reason I started blogging- cheap therapy. Writing has always been my letting it all out just before (or even after) I start getting irritable at the slightest thing, or getting upset at everyone.
So, here I am again, doing the virtual couch.
The past month has been a rush of stress; anger at a system I had no control over; first interaction with sexual harassment and administrative corruption; disappointments; relief but then, stress and more stress. But I went through it, stronger, I guess a bit more mature, and definitely less naïve.
I’ve also grown a little more patient- it kind of grows on you when you realize that there’s nothing you can do but wait. I’ve also learnt to take decisions, decisions that may affect me in the long run, although I can only guess how far. I have leant to be more dependent on God, learnt to strive to listen to Him, I’ve learnt that even the nasty experiences have their snips of laughter and relief (if you take time to enjoy it). I can look back at my rough month and smile- because I went through it- and I’m still here.

Work starts.
Decided to stick with my bank job- I get to actually serve. Who knows, maybe when I’m about to be appointed Secretary-General of the UN or become Nigeria’s first (?) female president, some political rival will want to usurp me on the non-service thing.
Just started and probably too early to say it’s more than “okay” but ‘m not complaining and I’m liking it.
Let’s see how it goes.